This is why we can’t have nice things

An unspoken rule in society is not to mess with another man’s ****. So it’s totally understandable when this Mercedes E350 owner did what he did to a man he caught casually keying the entire circumference of his sedan in front of a Columbus, Ohio corner store. The wild scene was caught on camera, the footage making its rounds on Facebook earlier today.

A quick search on Google Maps shows that this is in front of Guffey Market, a popular convenience store in the Columbus region. Its location and the fact that the handful of stores all have barred windows also speaks to the traffic that frequents the area.

The video shows a man’s parked mid-2000s Mercedes E350 sedan backed into a parking spot in front of said convenience store. Amidst the regular traffic of economy cars and rusted out buckets, the E350 sticks out like a sore thumb.

A man parked next to the Merc’ starts filming a transient with a rock gouging this poor Mercedes paint job, front the front fender, across the length of the side, on the trunk, and, if given enough time, he would’ve made it to the other side.

Thankfully, the owner catches the man in the act and, well; the video speaks for itself.

It’s a common emotion to feel jealous of someone’s shiny new object when you don’t have one yourself.On an elementary level, I think this man felt hatred towards a nice Mercedes in his neighborhood. It’s one thing to feel jealous, but to take out your anger on someone else’s property is an unhealthy response.

A simple key swipe on a door might cost a couple hundred but the force this guy was exerting on that rock, the damage surely went past the clear coat into the base coats. A paint correction with some buffing compounds won’t fix this. If this Mercedes owner wants it done right, a full paint job is in order. This miscreant cost this E350 owner thousands in damage.

I’m just hoping this E350 owner got full coverage. If not, my condolences.


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